Inspired by Bryan Braun's book review list,
I thought I'd start a similar one of my own.
Rating: 5/5
Author: Matthew McConaughey
Read: 02/2022
Format: Audio
Overall I thought this was an entertaining book that was a fun (and short)
listen. It was honest in that it was largely a self reflection on Matthew's
life, filled with a variety of amusing stories, and distilled some life lessons
that will probably help most people. It was just as advertised and I wanted
nothing more.
- One story that really struck me was during Matthew's start in Hollywood. He
mentioned to someone that he really needed some work, and right there at that
instance he was reprimanded and basically told that in that industry
desperation is akin to self sabotage. You can't need anything, cause that's
the perfect path to not get it. Matthew understood right then and there, you
cannot be seen as needing anything in the industry, for like sharks people
will smell the fear and desperation and tear you apart. So what was Matthew's
answer on how to go from needing to simply wanting? He spent pretty much all
his remaining money on a motorbike backpacking trip across Europe.
- This is applicable in many other settings, want it don't need it, for those
that need it won't get it
- Reflection is important for growth, everyone should take some time every now
and then to look back and try to squeeze out any lessons from the shit pile of
experiences you've had
- A lesson/theme throughout is to keep pushing, it's not the success in and of
itself that matters, but just making the attempt that opens doors. Matthew did
some crazy things in the book from going to South America to Africa on a wet
dream whim, to his acting experiments, but I think each one opened (and some
closed) doors for him to develop his own path. Much better to try and fail
than not attempt at all...or so it's easier typed than done.
- I recall the story of Matthew and his brother gambling in Vegas, making a fair
amount of money, then to lose it all on one bad sports bet. His lesson, which
I think bears repeating, is that we remember victories more than failures, and
take responsibility for the victories...but never the failures.
- Matthew also had a moment where he realized the characters he was playing were
becoming more interesting than his own real life, and that's not what he
wanted. I think that's an important realization and theme throughout this
book, you should strive to live a life that will be entertaining to you when
you look back on it, otherwise, what's the point? It's that old saying, 20
years from now you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by
the things you did.
- Another striking story was one from his adventures in Africa where he was
caught in the middle of a heated argument between two African friends. Matthew
perked up and mentioned that he agreed with one persons point of view and
thought it was right, and was then heavily reprimanded. He didn't understand
the point of the argument, it wasn't about right or wrong, it was about
understanding. "They are not trying to win arguments of right or wrong. They
are trying to understand each other." This is a lesson really valuable in
today's time, sometimes there is not a right or a wrong answer, but what's
important is just to understand that someone's answer is a reasonable one.
Rating: 4/5
Author: Robert B Cialdini PhD
Read: 01/2022
Format: Audio
Overall I liked this book. There were a lot of ideas that seemed like "common
sense", but we all know that's not too common, and we can all use a refresher on
these ideas. I also found several new ideas in this book, particularly eye
opening to me was the chapter on social proof that made me think about how much
I depend on social proof in my own life...perhaps too much so.
- Rituals bond people, like army/Greek life initiation. The more it sucks the
more people are bonded, and feel an affinity toward the organization.
- Creating a scenario to change someone's inner feelings/view is a strong method
of influence. Ex. Having a car discount, trying out the car, then getting the
discount taken away and still buying the car because you "realize" it's still
a good car. Homeowners entered into an energy saving competition ended up
saving more energy after prize was taken away since they "realized" they were
green people all along.
- People want to be consistent, often to a fault. Tells a story about a young
lady, asking about a "survey", where he spouts a hyperbole about being very
social, and then is asked if he'd like to buy a coupon book, because it makes
sense for someone as social as himself
- Social proof is an important factor of influence and one that I constantly use
in areas like fashion advice, reviews, or upvotes on reddit
- Used when a long line of cars change lanes, but nothing is blocking the way
- Used to determine how you should react in a situation, like in the Bystander
Effect where if everyone's calm in an emergency situation you will likely be
too
- Used in the Jones Town community suicide where other people committing the act
put pressure on you to as well and making it seem like the "reasonable" thing
to do
- In the majority of instances people would not think this was rational, but
isolated in a foreign place, given up pretty much everything, and with only
these contacts many may see this as a reasonable choice
- The famous Milgram obedience experiment involving electric shocks
- Authority can also be conferred from a title or by the way you dress
- Even if you don't actually have the title this can apply, like the actor who
played a doctor who was used in medical related ads
- People want to be liked, people often avoid bringing bad news and volunteer to
bring good news as they know this will make them better liked (even if
illogical), this is liking by association.
- Sales people use names of friends that you like to influence you to buy
products
- Anyone who is considered "good looking" can get away with a lot in society
- There are a limited number or it's only available for a limited time...these
are some common tactics that employ scarcity
- People often want what they cannot have, and when something goes from abundant
to scarce people can develop an interest when there was none before
- When Jen asked a Banh Mi place if they would be open the next day, and they
said they would, but told her to buy now since the next day there'd be a long
line (when there was no reason for this)
- There's a "I don't like being told what to do" principle here, where if
someone tells you not to do something (trying to make it scarce), you want to
do it more
- Scarcity can influence your view on other people, things, and/or ideas
(knowledge).
- Competition creates the feeling of scarcity as well. You can think of
competition for a mate making the mate seem more attractive, bidding
competition makes you lose your mind, or the book gives an example of
gathering competition to sell a car by telling potential buyers to come at the
same time